This was supposed to be a "normal" interview. An interview where the journalist has questions and the artist gives you answers that you hope they haven't given everyone else. An interview where we would discuss Billy's lush new solo album TheFutureEmbrace and you would want to buy it because you're a Pumpkins fan. However, sitting down with Billy Corgan, something different happened. We had a conversation. A conversation that ranged from talking about geeking out over our favorite bands to people pissing on his lawn.

Reflecting on that conversation with Billy, I thought it would be best to let our conversation speak for itself as opposed to giving you my synopsis of him based on an hour or so. In my opinion, he is a very self-aware man who doesn't think of himself as the "Billy Corgan" we all do. He has vulnerabilities, he has confidence, he is funny and he is endearing. So, my apologies for the lack of formality in this article, I've never done this before. In the end, I figured the best story I could write about Billy Corgan had already been written in our conversation. So, go ahead, eavesdrop.

Looking at the lyrics, I was interested in the God allusions you use because on Mellon Collie you have, "I still believe that I cannot be saved" and "God is empty just like me" but on this album there's more grace. It seems like you've accepted something.

Well, generally speaking, God in popular culture is a dicey subject because everybody has a personal relationship with God or don't believe. The minute you invoke God people flash in their mind the common Christian conception like you're trying to push something. I was raised in a Catholic construct but was very disappointed in the church like a lot of people in my generation. In my own kind of weird way, I found my way back to God. There were a lot of things that happened and a lot of things that I felt I saw through the paradigm of my own ego or saw as luck, and at some point it kind of all added up. There was this presence in my life and I called it whatever I wanted to call it but it was something sort of standing beside me or with me. I saw a sort of a common voice and I started identifying it as God. Now, to take that to the next step, to put that into the public sphere, that's where it gets tricky. So, I think that I was more comfortable with my relationship with God long before I started talking about it.

That makes sense. I think there's a desire with people when it comes to religion, much like music, where they want to categorize everything. They want to put labels on it so if you have an amorphous concept of God it doesn't translate to most people.

Absolutely...or you worry you'll end up like Stryper.

Right?! Yeah, those sort of amorphous sentiments reminded me of Douglas Coupland's book Life After God, that's what I was getting from this album. Sonically, also, so much of this album sounds like so much of my favorite music. Parts sounded like Slowdive, Swervedriver, This Mortal Coil and then I saw Alan Moulder worked on the record and I thought, "Of course."

We used to tour with Swevedriver and play with Ride.

I've been listening to [Ride's album] Nowhere a lot this week. It's funny, because when I saw the Pumpkins it was a lot later, during the tour with Garbage.

Yeah, you saw it when it turned into this other thing, you didn't see it in its early days when it was more psychedelic. Even Siamese Dream, the band's live performance was way more jammy so...

I still have you etched in mind wearing those huge silver boots.

Ugh...Yeaaah...

I was actually so afraid to bring up the Pumpkins and I don't know if I should...

No, no, it's very much a part of my daily life. Talking about the Pumpkins with me is like talking about an ex that I love. It hurts, but it's still love. There's nothing not to talk about.

That's good, because it's such a huge part of so many people's lives.

Well, it's the hugest part of my life. It's like the elephant in the room.

Is there ever an apprehension as far as people constantly comparing your work to the Pumpkins and what that was?

I think you accept it as a given. What I think is funny is that when the mainstream press talk about the Pumpkins they think of the Pumpkins as a "rock band," as that sound, but the Pumpkins did all this other work. So when people say, "Well, how does this relate to your past work?" I know what they're asking me, "Is this rock?" or is it a standard definition of "alternative rock."

Yeah, like the track on Mellon Collie, "Galapagos"...I love that track.

That's one of me and Jimmy's favorite songs too.

It's funny, when I think of the Pumpkins I think of all that other stuff but it's your voice that is synonymous with it all. This album is so amazing. It's so interesting because your voice is almost a juxtaposition to the sound. Your voice doesn't have a shoegaze quality to it, it can, but it's one of those oddly beautiful things to me. You could do any kind of music and your voice would be the unifying factor.

That's what my dad tells me. My dad's a musician and he laughs when I tell him what I'm doing because he says, "It doesn't matter, it's going to still sound like you."

I've always loved vocalists like that. Even Jane's Addiction...Perry Farrell is always going to sound like Perry Farrell.

And I can't get enough of that, it's like, "Give me more."

Yep, those are my early years. You know, we were picking favorite tracks off TheFutureEmbrace and I've listened to "Mina Loy (M.O.H.)" probably forty times already. "Walking Shade" [ed. note- "Walking Shade" will be the album's first single] is great but "Mina Loy" is amazing.

Ha. Maybe I picked the wrong single! "Mina Loy" was what the record company wanted.

I mean..."Walking Shade" is cool but "Mina Loy" is...

Well, I picked it because I think it's just a good song. I mean, you like "Mina Loy"...I think if you put that on the radio, I wouldn't expect people to get it. It's too...

Oh jeez, I guarantee as soon as people hear your voice, it's platinum.

Well...when the record tanks because I picked the wrong single I'll think back to this conversation!

At this point, we digress into talking about Billy's friend, producer Alan Moulder, who mixed most of the record (when Billy wasn't mixing it himself). We geek out over the repertoire of bands Moulder has worked with, Billy shares some My Bloody Valentine stories. I start discussing the early 90s shoegaze sound...

I'm so stuck in late 80s, early 90s music...it's ridiculous...despite my obsession with David Bowie. Alan has worked with all my favorite artists. That whole genre is getting a big rebirth right now. I'm glad we're bringing back the heavy reverb.

It's about time for that kind of feeling again. That's what I felt. I could feel it in my body. I wanted that sound.

Well, I'm happy because that's the music that speaks to me.

You should talk to Alan, he has great stories...and to make you feel better - Alan said "M.O.H." was his favorite song, that's the Mina Loy song, so you and Alan are in arms again and, of course, I've made the wrong choice!

Yay! It's my fault! When that song comes out and it does awesome then I want you to think, "Tatiana - this is for her."

It'll be like at Dodger Stadium with the echo... "I want to say say say...thank you you you..."

And I'll be in the nosebleeds saying, "I think I can see you Billy! Thanks for the tickets!"

That's the moment where you're like, "Ooh! He's gonna say something!" and then it's like, "TOOT-ti-ana" and I'll say your name wrong...

Well, it's better than hearing TIT-iana at Starbucks. Anyway...back to talking about your lovely album...which I think I may be failing at...

We actually wound up talking more about Alan Moulder at this point then the Cocteau Twins, Iron Maiden and Motley Crue. There are so many stories I wish I could share that unfortunately won't fit in this space. As we were about to leave he added a comment that I want to close with, not only because it will mean a lot to his fans, but because it will probably mean so much more to struggling artists trying their hardest to maintain vision on the road less traveled.

The only thing I would add is that I'm just excited to be making music that I feel passionate about, you know what I mean - There's this point where it becomes so not about music and it's not that you don't love music, you really do, but somehow along the way, your feeling for it gets lost. There were definitely moments of doubt where I was wondering if I was ever going to have that [passion] again. It's like painful breakups or something where you think, "Am I ever going to love somebody how I loved her?" It's that feeling, You start to question it, because it requires a level of vulnerability. Now I'm really back in the 24/7 where the music is me, it's my life, it's my love. There is no separation. It's not a job. I feel proud that I managed to get back to that spot organically and not chemically or not induced by some whatever...

I agree, it's a good place to be. I was telling a friend this week that that seeing him play gives me itchy fingers to want to work on my own music. I think, as musicians, it's good that we always have that sense of doubt and that we never think, "I've arrived." I read interviews where someone talks about when they knew they were going to be great and I think, "I never have that!" I always have doubt.

Well, this is more psychology for you than interview but there's a personal level of truth that has nothing to do with music or culture or chords. It has everything to do with accepting who you are and not fight it. There's something really weird when you can hit that. It has a beauty that even if it has flaws in it, it is so much more powerful than the intellectual concept of what perfection is. There were a lot of moments on this record where I knew what I should do or someone would say what they would like me to do but my gut feeling was telling me to do something different. I don't even recognize some of the music I make. There's a higher voice in you that's more powerful than you and attribute it to what you want, but you have to be willing to listen to that and bow to that. It's really tough sometimes. It's listening to a truth that is your own and I think that is the separation point between a great artist and a good artist. A great artist is willing to listen [to that truth]. The difference is very subtle. I really think that, at the end of the day, we want that truth. It's like when you're making love to somebody, it feels good and it's hot or whatever, but it's the look in somebody's eyes...that's the thing that you remember. It sticks with you like a revelation, it's somebody saying, "This is who I am. Fucking kill me, but you can't tell me this is who I am." When you're sitting at your piano, go there. Go there.